I wonder why America's right wing extremists in recent years express concern for masculinity. If I had spent the last five decades on a remote Pacific island without human contact or communications, I would believe in 2024-2025 that the US government and Democrats in particular are at war with our nation's male population. Every Republican rally, conservative rant radio show, trump speech, FOX analysis, and Christian Nationalist forum says there is a war on American men -- specifically on White American men. The accusation is as incredulous as their "war on Christmas" while both ridiculous claims aim to hide truths in the Republican/MAGA agenda. I am here to see it, hear it, laught at it, and expose the utter nonsense of it.
First, men and women share all human traits. Babies are born, whether with male or female genitalia or with both genitalia, needing nutrition and nurture, surviving their first several years only because of caring adults. They are helpless. The baby boy is no more able or willing to fight for his life than is a baby girl. Over time, all children must learn to listen, play, explore, talk, walk, fight, and feed themselves in the same ways. Children's first developmental years are the same, the years during which they learn mobility and speech. When do gender differences begin to show themselves? No one is certain; children develop their intelligences and personalities and unique traits at different rates. However, the notion that a two-year old is "all boy!" or "all girl!" is not backed by science; the notion says more about the adult than it says about the child.
Also a topic for argument and thoughtful research is the measure of parental and societal contribution to a child's development. I've no doubt that genetic information is strong. But how strong is it? I've no doubt that influence is strong. Of one thing I am certain from personal observation...parents and other adults in a child's life pull strongly on the children's strings, trying in competitive and selfish ways, sometimes wise and unselfish, to form the child in their own images. I have seen parents and grandparents give freedom to their sons that they withhold from their daughters -- freedom to express emotions, explore, demand attention, defy authority. On the other hand, I have seen parents and grandparents make demands on their daughters that they do not on their sons -- to entertain others instead of pursue solitary interests, to use silence around adults, to be conscious of appearance, to defer to the boys, to apologize for every mistake. In subtle and not so subtle ways, we teach our child to be the male or female type of which we approve.
Schools and churches, synagogues and mosques, books and music play their roles in children's development. Like forensic scientists say Every Contact Leaves a Trace. If I don't like who my son or daughter becomes, I hold myself accountable. And vice versa. If I love who they become, I give myself credit. However, I know without doubt that I was not alone in raising my child; I appreciate the fact that my child was greatly influenced by others, that their genetic information matters. When America's right wing men decry what they see as a war on their own legitimacy, they are blaming everyone in their families and among their friends for who they are. But we know this is merely a cover. What do they truly want America to believe?
Trump, et al, and America's right wing political/religious leaders want us to believe that the wealthy White male is superior in nature to all other genders and ethnicities. The Great White Man. That denial of this superiority will cause America and the world to collapse. The only way to prove this is true is to suggest that they are the victims of purposeful discrimination. If men like Zuckerberg and trump and Vance and the Proud Boys and the Fascists could prove their worth as men by any other means, they would not. Their collective lament is an excuse to avoid expressing the human traits shared by all men and women... natural vulnerability and learned social responsibility. They've agreed to redefine gender and social roles into ones that promote their agendi.
Putting aside that the families and societies in which these deformed men developed deserve public chastisement, the choices these defective men make now in their leadership roles is dangerous. They did not learn humility, empathy, sharing with others and nurturing others, silence and patience. Not because their genetic codes formed them without these traits but because they were empowered in this White Male Christian Capitalist Militaristic society to shun these traits. To view humility and empathy and nurturing as weaknesses. To be selfish and cruel and narrow-minded.
Would their grandmothers still say the men are "all boy"? No. She did not think about these things when the four-year old boy demanded his way and she gave in. But these traits in men of thirty and forty and fifty years of age are pathetic and thoroughly disgusting. More important, these negative traits are dangerous in governments and societies. Remember how fascism in Italy and Germany assaulted democracy and conquered goodness: Men were taught to be violent and cruel.
Instead of trying to describe what A Real Man should be, I will premise my argument about gender roles on this: Every man and woman should exhibit the very best of human traits. Empathy, Humility, Kindness, Social Responsibility... If we raise the children in our families and communities to fully appreciate the strength in these traits, we will all live in a better world.