When I was five, I would touch my mom’s leg and say “I’m sorry” as easily as I did the thing that I felt sad about. She often had no idea what I was apologizing for. I had mercilessly knocked my younger sister over or broken one of my mother’s dishes. Once, at a neighbor’s house in Amarillo, the girl and I were playing with a baseball bat. I remember swinging the bat at the tree. Per the simple laws of physics, the bat bounced off the tree and hit the girl behind me, knocking her to the ground. She was crying in pain. Instead of running for her mother, who might have already been running toward us, I ran home. I remember hiding in my bed, fearfully crying. It was not long before my mom came to me, held me close, and explained that the girl’s mother came to describe what happened. Although I was genuinely sad that our play had turned frightful, I also felt relieved that my mother was not angry. Relieved…the true test of remorse to a child of five.
When I was sixteen, I would refrain from touching my mother while offering this pearl, “Everything is good.” I had a fight with my sister, one that resulted in hard knocks across each other’s backs. Or I had let my boyfriend touch my breasts. Or I had lied to the shop owner when I was asked “Where is the hair sash?” Although I was sad that I immaturely let a squabble with a younger sister turn physical, uncomfortable with myself for giving in to the boyfriend’s pleas, and ashamed that I told my employer that I had sold the item instead of admitting I gave it to a friend, I more importantly wanted my mother to believe that I was making all the best choices. I wanted to save face. I had crossed the line into a world of adults who will not admit their errors.
I didn’t learn right away but after many hard knocks that admitting defeat, publicly confessing my sins, and saying “I was wrong to say that, to do that” is really quite the best thing to do. It is the best choice of all. Because the mistakes, failures, sins, and lesser shenanigans will not end – I am a human. The best response to them is to apologize, make amends where possible, and learn how not to repeat them. Own them. Learn to avoid them; learn to be a better person.
So. There are many folks who worked in the Trump White House, many who were appointed by then-president Trump, many who served as his lawyers and advisors who now want America to know “He must never be given a second term.” Good to know. Even Mike Pence said in a recent interview that he “cannot endorse Trump” in this 2024 presidential campaign. Yes. The guy who Trump hoped would break the law for him, who refused to do that, who subsequently faced certain death by the January 6 mob if he had not been whisked away.
What is missing from the unsolicited advice are honest disclosures and sincere apologies. I knew that Donald J Trump was a corrupt and sleazy businessman before his 2015 presidential bid. I knew DJT was a slow and resistant learner. I knew that DJT was racist and misogynistic. I knew DJT demanded unquestioning loyalty and threw his people under the bus rather than shape up. I knew that DJT was not a true common-sense conservative. I knew that Trump’s organizations were failures. I knew that Trump was not a leader but a celebrity-seeking fool. I knew that Trump was not a Christian man but one who manipulated and used religious folks. Besides all this and the multitude of other problems with his personal life, I made the decision to back Trump because his presidency would allow me and my fellow Republicans to fulfill our agenda. I acted selfishly. I turned my back on my country. I put power into the hands of a known criminal and a moronic narcissist. If the word for someone like me is traitor, then I will admit that my willingness to support, promote and appease Trump was the willingness of a traitor. A traitor to my family and my country. I am sorry for my actions.
Even though we appreciate Pence’s public announcement – one that assuredly sent ketchup flying all over the Mar a Lago dining hall – it is difficult to believe that Pence wouldn’t rather vote for the Republican candidate than the Democratic one this November. He does not confess or apologize. He does not tell Americans that the Trump White House was a failure of historic proportion. Pence claims to be a religious man. He knows what the confessional and the altar mean to people who believe in a God, in repentance, in atonement. He knows. But he holds back, revealing the hypocrisy of his faith, showing how thin and narrow it truly is.
Who are these people kidding? An “I will not endorse Trump” is not an acknowledgement of guilt, much less an apology for putting the nation through these crises. They are not fooling we who were horrified by the Trump White House’s failures, corruption, crimes – over 500K Americans died needlessly in 2020 during the covid pandemic! Why are these people holding back? Because today’s GOP is no longer a viable political party that serves the Constitution and legislates for the nation. It is a criminal enterprise. Thusly, some GOP will throw Trump under the bus.
A five-year old apologizes from a sincere place. She wants Mom and Dad to be happy with her. She feels sad that someone is crying, or a pretty dish is broken, or a new toy is ripped apart. She is sad. The remorse is genuine.
A typical adolescent apologizes only if the fault is found out. If the teenager feels shame but safe in the confession, the apology is sincere and meaningful. She is forthcoming and probably open to advice. If the teenager feels threatened or has no regret, the apology is no more than a “I won’t do that again” meaning I will hide it better.
The GOP are the teenagers who have no regrets but know that their power is threatened by full disclosures. If some GOP leadership is done with their useful idiot, we get that. But to simply say that they do not endorse him sans the appropriate acknowledgements and apologies is to say I will hide it better. Mitch is grimy but we know where he stands. Today’s GOP is sincerely covering their butts while hoping that Trump chokes on a chicken bone before November. In other words, if Trump is elected, it will be a darker repeat of GOP 2017-2021 shenanigans. If Biden is elected, the GOP will simply continue its obstructionist, corrupted, self-serving course.